Burdened

I've had something on my heart lately that I'm completely burdened by. I feel God is trying to lead me in some sort of direction but I'm not exactly sure yet where that is. Lately I've been saddened too many times by the pain and suffering I've been seeing other families go through with their children. Whether it be them being diagnosed with a disease, getting extremely I'll and suffering significant permant damage as a result, finding out their child has cancer, or even worse, losing their child to cancer. Nothing gets to me more than this. I can't begin to even imagine the hurt and pain they are experiencing. And I want to gag at myself for complaining about my problems. We all have our struggles and yes ours have been somewhat more difficult with Kinsleigh lately, but manageable.

Two nights ago, Kinsleigh woke at 11:45 pm screaming in her room. I ran in to see her sitting bolt upright in her bed, looking completely terrified. I knew instantly she had had a horrible dream as we have dealt with this before with her. But this time when I went to her and placed my arms around her to reassure her she was safe, she was shaking uncontrollably and her heart was beating so hard I literally thought it was going to burst out of her chest! Once I got her to lay down, I sat on the floor next to her bed with her for a good 15 min with one hand tickling her forehead and the other just resting on her chest. That heart was not slowing down and it made me sad to see that she had dreamed something that could make her so frightned. But that wasn't the reason tears came to my eyes at that moment. Here I am, worn out tired, needing my rest more than you can ever know, and suddenly I dont care about that. Im teary eyed because I realize feeling that heart beat at what seems like 1000 beats per minute, represents life in her. She is breathing and full of life. How unbelievably grateful I am to have that! Shes healthy, praise the Lord! Not everyone is experiencing that with their child every day like I am.

But what can I do? I'm just a woman, with a reasonably small income, who wants to help in some way. But I know that nothing I would ever do could bring a child back to the state that they once were so my prayer is that it will be revealed to me how I can help certain families throughout my time in whatever way possible. And I'm going to start with this family. The mom is a woman I knew and was close friends with her family growing up nearly 20 years ago. Because of Facebook, I still stay connected to her family. Her two year old boy is struggling. Actually that's more than an understatement. I can't describe all he has been going through and the pain his parents are clearly feeling. You can join his Facebook page, "Westin's Walk" here to get the news on his condition and updates. Be in prayer for him on a daily basis. You can also request prayer bracelets for him for $5 a piece.

http://www.facebook.com/groups/305376696166650/