Mind of a Child

Doesn't the mind of a child just fascinate you?  They just say the silliest things and at the end of each day I've usually got a quote or two that I could jot down in the memory book that just makes me giggle.  Things that are nearly meaningless to us can mean the world or the end of the world to them.

Just take trying to get a 3 year old to eat her veggies for example.  This is for real the face she gave me when I asked her to take a bite last night.

Yeah sure I know they aren't the best, especially since I buy them with "no salt added" but really???

But the thing that I love most about children is this...they see the good in all things.  Seeing bad in objects. people, anything, is something only learned by example in a broken world.  When you are 3 years old, Mommy's messy ponytail can be SO beautiful, an ant can be so adorable, the neighbors barking dog can be "oh so sweet", and a dandelion weed can seem to be the most beautiful and fascinating thing she's seen her whole life.  For me, I complain because my hair never looks right, I make sure I kill every ant I see get in the house, if the dog next door doesn't stop barking before I have to go to sleep I just may go crazy, and I want to do any and everything to get rid of those pesky dandelions in our backyard.

But then it's hard for me to want to get rid of them because she finds such joy in picking them and to her they aren't a problem, they are another one of God's beautiful creations.  What if we could have a positive outlook on all things in life like a child?  How different could our attitudes be and how far less judgmental?  Just a little thought for your day!  Happy Monday!

Dream Day

If today could be my every day, I may just feel like a Mommy who's going to make it. Everything was perfect, or at least as close to perfect as you can be with two little ones. Girls were content, girls got along, Kinsleigh was little miss polite, things were done peacefully and ran smoothly. My girl acted like a total goofball with me and we genuinely laughed and had a blast together. Both girls were little cuddle monsters all day. I just LOVED it! We had a couple of her little fears try to interrupt our day, but I was quickly able to divert them away from her mind and focus on something else, which rarely happens. It just couldnt have been any better.

And I just want to take the time to thank everyone for all they have been for and to us over this past week. Yet again, "the church" has shown what it means to join together and help their brothers and sisters in Christ. And yet again, we are humbled. We cannot wait to give back to others in the same magnitude that they have been for us. People have brought meals, people have come over just to let us talk or cry, people have offered up so many opportunities to give us "breaks" to get by. No advice, only encouragement. Wow. Each and every one of you are dear to our hearts. Thank you.

Vulnerable

I'm not going to try and hide that I am filled with anger, bitterness, confusion and jealousy. And I'm tired. Not the kind where I need to go take a nap and catch up on some sleep, but tired of life in general. I'm tired of watching my girl suffer every day while seeing everyone else's blossom. I'm tired of hearing of everyone's "easy" kids when I have never even been able to consider those words coming out of my mouth. I'm tired of wishful hoping. I'm tired of sleepless nights. I'm tired of adjusting what seems like every aspect of our lives to help Kinsleigh but yet continue to fail. I'm tired of people asking if she is "better". She's not sick. I'm tired of people asking if I'm "ok". I'm not. I may fake it on the outside because I don't want to sulk in pity so it's how I get by. But the truth is, emotionally and physically, I'm miserable. I surrender every ounce of my being first and foremost to Christ and secondly pouring all I have left into Kinsleigh. I let out my frustrations on my kids because let's face it, I'm a stay at home mom so I have no where else to direct it. Today was a perfect example of me feeling like a failure as a parent. I was angry all day long. Once I finally got Kinsleigh down for a short nap, I wept in front of my 13 month old. Wept. And she just came and crawled into my lap and hugged me like she knew that was just what I needed. For that short moment of my day, my heart softened and I wept some more.

My life has not been easy lately. In fact, it's been as far from that as you can possibly get and I don't see it getting any better anytime soon unless it were a true miracle from God.

We don't hardly go to the park anymore because Kinsleigh wants nothing to do with the equipment. We can barely step outside because she's terrified of bugs. When they fly in the house, you better watch out because she is a ball of terror that will come charging at you. As of today, she won't come into our room anymore because she's terrified of the fan. I guess Im going to have to start missing those daily early morning cuddles in bed that I adore so much. Can't get her to take a bath because she's scared of little specks of dirt she sees floating in the water but we can't compromise with a shower because then the water would touch her head. Our weekly trips to the library are no longer existent because she's still terrified of their air vents.

So when I don't " like" your photos or stories of your children trying new adventures or full of happiness on Facebook, it's not because I'm not happy for you. It's because I'm jealous. I'm trying not to be but it's tough because my triumphant stories and photos of fun are becoming fewer and farther in between.

Well, there you have it. It's not easy being vulnerable. But boy does it feel good when you are. I am so tired of pretending, just because I'm a woman of faith, that I'm ok. I'm not...

Sesame Street Live!!!

(First things first. My photo and sentence alignments are way off today but I was in a hurry and simply did not care so just bear with me here. Just seeing their cuteness is the point anyway, right?)

We had a blast at Sesame Street Live today! Got to visit some of our favorite characters!

Did a little bit of coloring

Showing off our souvenoirs. Mommy and Daddy are suckers for souvenoirs!

Then off to see the show! Kyla was slightly more thrilled than Kinsleigh believe it or not!

But I did get them to get up and dance towards the end! What a fun day we had today!

Singin in the Rain

Welcome to our flash flood of a Spring Break!

We decided to make the most of it

Splashing in the puddles rather than avoiding them!

Getting our feet, hands, and hair wet

And discovering how it all feels

Even when our rain boots end up being a little too large for our feet

You can't see a single cloud when you look at this sunshine

And of course we have to do a little clean up duty.

"Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby."

Langston Hughes

Kyla girl is 1!

Well, here we are. The day is here. Our sweet baby girl Kyla is...I'll just say 12 months old because that doesn't make it seem as bad. I don't know what it is about the second one but I feel like I baby her way more than I did her big sissy. All that getting her off a bottle as much before one as possible, laying her down awake, that sort of thing. Nope. This child still takes a bottle (although I am doing what I can to get her to drink her milk from a sippy. She'll drink everything else from it. Just not the milk!) and I rock that kid to sleep every chance I get. I don't know if it's just because I do what's easiest for the time being since I have two to deal with now or because of the uncertainty of whether or not there will ever be another little one to hold (that decision has yet to be officially decided in this household). But, as difficult as she can be at times, I just don't want her to grow up.

When you came into this world, you were crying like a duck. No lie. It sounded like you were quacking and I will never forget it. Made me giggle in the midst of having my insides taken apart behind a curtain. (Sorry Ihave to keep the mood light and funny or I'll start to cry).

The first 6 weeks of your life were more than difficultand you had somewhat of a rough journey but you were a tough little cookie. Thankfully, because of mommies persistence in figuring you out, we discovered you had a UTI at 6 weeks old that had most likely been around for approximately 4 weeks. Maybe even longer. Heck, you had to have TWO catheters in 3 days with nothing to numb the pain. Mommy couldn't even do that. And I had to sit and watch you sleep with an I.V. hooked into your arm in a tiny little hospital bed for 5 days. You even had to spend your first Easter in the Children's Hospital. Those early days I will never forget.

But more importantly I will never forget how your beautiful blue eyes sparkle and people comment on them at least several times a day everywhere we go, at 7:30pm almost every evening you come and cuddle with me and let me tickle your back until bathtime, you made me walk with you holding your little fingers for 2 1/2 mos. before finally taking your own first steps, at 9:40 every morning I'm guaranteed a huge smile the moment you hear "lalalala lalalala Elmo's World!" comeon the T.V., you smack your lips every time you pretend to eat or the moment you see someone else with food, your most adorable pout lip, how you run to the computer and start moving your leg to the beat when you hear "Party Rock Anthem", and you play peek a boo in the shower curtain and get your head soaking wet every morning. Ohhh the memories we will always share...

Happy Birthday sweet Kyla Hope. Mommy, Daddy and Sissy (believe it or not) love you very

much!

Day with my Loves

Happy Valentines Day to everyone! Hope it was enjoyed by all! We had a very eventful day full of Valentine fun!

The cute little homemade Valentines Kinsleigh helped make for her friends at school.

Here is a close up

Our delicious cookies we baked last night for the neighbors, our teachers, church staff, and ahem ourselves of course!

Have to start the day with heart pancakes!

Opening gifts...

Always a hit.

Dressed up and ready for school with a special appearance by sissy getting to go with her to drop her off today!

Yep, they are adorable

Played in our Valentine sensory table a bit

Had this incredibly unhealthy looking heart pizza for dinner. Yeah, I feel disgusting right now.

And ended my evening with some good ole snuggles from this snotty nose.

(not pictured: My first greatest love, Sean)