Who they really are...

Many days I'm reminded through conversations with others and then in my own human nature comparing my children to their peers that they don't measure up.  Or at least that's what I begin to believe. (This rings true more so for my sweet Kinsleigh.  Unfortunately I believe her fearful past has come back to haunt her and others are unable to see how far she has come.  Kinsleigh's struggles don't even have to be a topic of my conversations anymore.  At the same time others lift my spirits by pointing out the huge strides she's made and making it known that she's a totally different kid than she was even 1 year ago. Yup, I can breathe now.  Cause she's gonna make it!) More quickly than I'm able to try and convince myself of this, I'm reminded who they really are.  Not only WHO they really are but WHO they were made by and WHO they were made for.  Not only am I proud of who my children are simply because I'm their Mommy but because who they truly are is great and something that anyone who takes the time can personally see. 

I am beyond blessed to have a child like Kinsleigh.  I have never known a child of her age to have so many characteristics meshed into one.  She's got charisma, sass, tenderness, silliness, seriousness, she's super intelligent...you name it...so evenly balanced. She knows what it means to help others in need.  She seeks after knowing Christ and actually longs to be with Him.  She knows He died on the cross and what put Him there.  She knows what it means to be given grace and be forgiven.  She knows she's deeply loved and beautiful because her Daddy and I remind her of this every day.  But yet she also sadly knows that the fears she has experienced both in her past and her present are sometimes "not normal" because it's the message she is constantly given and gets thrown in her face.  What is normal anyway? No 4 year old should ever have to feel out of place. And she also knows that she can't make those fears go away no matter how hard she tries.  And believe me, she wants them to.  I walked in on her in her room one night, out of her bed, down on her knees talking to Jesus about taking her scared feelings away.  When the fears strike, I can only imagine how much it hurts her little mind and only this Mommy and Daddy can stand by her and somewhat try to understand what she is going through. But, she is going to continue to persevere and I refuse to do anything but to lovingly help her through it.  At times it has had to be "tough love" but LOVE nonetheless.  She has come so far in 2 years with all she went through and she's almost got them all under control. I'm so proud of her.  Bravest kid I know.  

Kyla is my "How did I deserve to be so blessed?!" child.  In the confines of our own home she is one crazy, silly, cuddly, loving, imaginative, talkative, active child.  In a more formal setting, she is shy, reserved, submissive...totally opposite of big sister.  She is my 2nd smarty pants.  (I seriously don't know where their intelligence comes from. It's almost ridiculous).  When she runs around the house, her little curls bounce and I squeeze those little cheeks of hers every day and look into her GORGEOUS big blue eyes and tell her how she too is beautiful and deeply loved by her Daddy and I.  When the topic of Jesus arises with her, the response is more of a "oh, haha" followed by some other random thought. It's darling.  At her age, all that matters is that she knows His name.  And in this house, you can't go a day without knowing His name.  He is factored into all the choices and decisions we make.  She has struggled with some of the sensory issues her sister has battled as well in regards to being extremely cautious on playground equipment.  But nothing in comparison.  You should see this girl fly down the stairs!  We've got another broken bone in our future I'm sure.  She is super independent.  I'm talking, insists on doing EVERYTHING herself if it's the last thing she does.  You go for it girl! She likes making friends and other people mean the world to her.  

So there you have it in a nut shell.  Who they really are. Not a cookie cut kid.  Not a text book child.  Not a nuisance free kid. Not a worry free kid.  Just kids who have their priorities straight and know how to love on others.  I don't know about you, but that's all that matters to me.  When the day is done, I don't have to feel shame for the Mommy I ultimately am.  In complete humility, I know I'm doing things right when I hear the heart of my children.  

It's only human nature to care what others think about your children because of course you want them to be loved just like you love them.  But realistically, that won't always be so.  So I like to come back to reality and remind myself that, "oh yeah, I don't have to care what others think." Because God knows who they really are, even more so than me and He believes and knows they are kind, compassionate, and beautiful.  Not just beautiful might I add, but STUNNING.  Just imagining what He feels when he looks upon them gives me goosebumps.  They are preciously dear to Him. Absolutely nothing can change that. NOTHING. No words or actions anyone may say or do.    Thank you God, for being such a loving God, full of grace.  

Kiddie Park

Welcome to quite possibly my children's favorite new place on Earth...Kiddie Park! (Clearly we've never been to Disney World, but even if we had, this place would maybe still win because here, they can do ALL the rides and it makes them feel so awesome! haha) It's located in Bartlesville so it's a good hour long drive but so beyond worth it.  I  can't believe we have lived here for almost 4 years and had never heard of this place! We are no longer missing out. Highly recommend it! 

 Just having a little talk about how amazing this place is...

   Train rides. Always classic fun.  Yes, my children were drenched in sweat.

                                   

 Yes! Remember these?! Flashback Frontier City...miniature style! 

And I sooooo wish I could have gotten a picture of them both riding the roller coaster but that ride Mommy and Daddy had to participate as well.  Kinsleigh actually BEGGED to get on the roller coaster.  We've got a thrill seeker here folks and I think this roller coaster ridin Mama is gonna like it! I think I'm going to hear begging to go back to this place often. 

Tornado Relief

A couple weekends ago my husband and I went and helped with tornado relief in Moore, OK.  The devastation you see on T.V. is remarkable, but once you see it in person, it's even more unreal.  Growing up in Oklahoma, I've been close to large tornadoes like this before and even gone and seen the massive messes they leave behind. But this was the first time I actually put on my own gloves and got out there to help those who were affected personally by the storm.  It puts a whole new perspective on what these people went through that horrific afternoon. 

We helped through a group named "Samaritans Purse."  It is a christian based disaster relief team that works all across the nation in events such as this.  Amazing organization. This particular day we helped clean up a large lot of land that had been already picked up and cleared out for the most part but we were helping get all the remaining debris removed so that it would be ready for this family to rebuild as soon as possible. Most are not that lucky because their homes are in neighborhoods and it will take MONTHS before they can even get all the homes cleaned up, let alone even thinking about rebuilding.  

We were actually able to meet the homeowners from this land but we were only told so little about them.  Mainly they described the afternoon of the storm and what it felt/sounded like from within their storm shelter underground.  But sifting through all the debris behind where their home once was, much more of their story could unfold.  For one, we could clearly tell they had grandchildren as many items belonging to small children were found.  Among them were sandbox toys, buzz lightyear slippers and a wizard of oz tin filled with figurines that you see below.  We also could tell somebody must have had quite the baseball card collection as many were found.  You don't think about the things flying through the air at 100+ mph like a saw blade and kitchen knife like we picked out of the ground either. 

Once we were "finished" with our work at the property we'd been at all day, we headed over to the location where Plaza Towers Elementary was once located.  The memorial they have created for those who lost their lives at the school that day is beautiful.  You can't help but mourn for those families who lost their little ones.  To think that on the day of the storm, only several hours earlier they had just been sending their child off to school like any other normal day, only to have their lives completely flipped around.  It's heart wrenching. 

In the neighborhood across from the elementary school

Since making this trip to Moore, Kinsleigh has asked so much about tornados.  What they do...what they look like.  She even talks about what she could do to make a little girl feel better who lost all her toys.  Not only that but she has added "tornado worker" to her list of things she wants to be when she grows up.  She refers to what we did as "Mommy and Daddy are going to clean up the tornado mess" and she actually requests to do the same.  She prays for these people at night. It's remarkable.  The experience of going to Moore was one that I don't want to quickly downplay and forget.  It was eye opening for me and it was another incredible lesson to my 4 year old of what it means to have compassion for others.  My things are just things and they just don't seem as important to me as they once were.  I'm trying to remind myself of this daily so I can stop focusing on the things I want to GET and instead refocus my mind on what I can GIVE.  Only God knows the capacity of which I have to offer and I can't wait for Him to show me what that is. I can't wait to go out and do something like this again. I hope what actually seemed like a small amount of work in the whole scheme of things was as big of a blessing to someone else as it was to me.