Undeserving

Today I was thinking about how fortunate I have been to have one healthy, full term baby and another on the way that has thus far been going great. It was blowing my mind and I could not begin to understand how I had beaten the 50/50 odds of miscarrying with my disease TWICE! I was thanking God, thanking God, thanking God over and over. And then all the sudden, my mind wandered away and started thinking, “well I probably really deserved all that after what I had to go through with all my health.” Wait! What?! How dare I ever think that I “DESERVE” anything! None of us do. Ugh! I was disgusted at myself for even having such a selfish thought. Everything we have or have ever been given is a GIFT from God just because he is that benevolent. Truthfully everything we have is actually His and He just decides to share it with us. Hmm…never really thought of it that way, had you? It was by His grace that He gave us our Kinsleigh Grace and my hope was/is rest assured in Him that He would and could do it again with our Kyla Hope.