Bye Bye Binky

Ok, I'm not going to try and sugar coat it and say I was not highly emotional. Tonight was a HARD night for me. We had to tell the binkies bye bye since Kins is a big girl now and we didn't want her still attached to them once baby sister came along. Everything was no big deal while we prepared for it. We decorated our bye bye binky box, gave them all individual kisses goodbye, told her a whole story of how they had to go take care of somebody else's baby boy since she wasn't a baby anymore, then even had her carry them out to the mailbox with us to "send them away." We made it a huge event and documented every moment. Then the tough part came when it was time to put her in bed and that sweet little face looked up at us and said "want my binky" like she has every night for the last who knows how long. We then had to break the news and remind her of what we had done with them earlier in the evening. That little bottom lip started to quiver and all was lost. She surprisingly calmed down pretty quick but it took several times of going back in her room and giving her reassurance that all was well.

This is the part where you might say, "Are you kidding me?"

I walked out of her room with tears pouring down my face. (I'm such a softie). For the first time, it hit me that my little girl was growing up and this was only the beginning of all the little baby/toddler habits we would begin to break. Not to mention that after a while of trying to calm her in her room, she finally just looked at me and said "Bye Mommy" like she was just ready for me to get out of there. I don't want my baby girl to not need me. Something happens when you become a Mom to where you develop a huge desire to be wanted/needed. Even though I get worn out so often, at the end of the day there's a part of me that wants to always know she can't do it all on her own. I want her to ask for my help. I want to be near her and spend time with her. I want to cuddle...I want her to love me the same tomorrow as she did today even when I do have to do things that hurt her fragile heart. Ugh, this Mommy stuff just got harder...